Category: Jan-March 2025

By Joseph Victor Edwin, SJ

In December 2024, I travelled to Rome to participate in the meeting of the Commission on the Role and Responsibilities of Women in the Society of Jesus. While there, I also taught a course on Christian-Muslim Relations for the licentiate students in the Department of Missiology at Urbania University. Each evening, I enjoyed engaging in discussions with Professors Wasim Salman, Francesco Zannini, and Gaetano Sabetta, with whom I share a long-standing connection.

Fr. Wasim Salman, who hails from Damascus, has been teaching contemporary Arab-Islamic thought at the Pontifical Institute for Arabic and Islamic Studies (PISAI) since 2016. A Syrian-Italian scholar, he holds a doctorate in theology from Gregorian University (2009) and another in Arabic philosophy from the University of Tor Vergata (2016). He is also a member of the editorial board for Islamochristiana. He is currently the director of PISAI, Rome.

Francesco Zannini is another esteemed academic who taught Contemporary Islam and Islamic Law at PISAI in Rome. He previously served as a Professor of Islamic Studies at the National Major Seminary in Dhaka, Bangladesh. He dedicated several years to editing the magazine, Encounter – Documents for Muslim-Christian Understanding, and has authored numerous essays and articles on the history of Islam and interfaith dialogue.

Each evening, I enjoyed engaging in discussions with Professors Wasim Salman, Francesco Zannini, and Gaetano Sabetta, with whom I share a long-standing connection.

Lastly, Gaetano Sabetta is a Professor at the Faculty of Missiology at the Pontifical Urbaniana University, where he focuses on interreligious and intercultural dialogue. His research spans the theology of religions, interreligious theology, and dialogue. Having lived in India, he earned his first theology degree from the Vidyajyoti Institute of Religious Studies in Delhi.

Living as missionary disciples: Our discussions centred on what unites us: our scholarship in Christian-Muslim Relations and our commitment to living as missionary disciples, as highlighted in Evangelii Gaudium (No. 120). We reflected on our vocation as both priests and lay theologians engaging with Muslims. The phrase “sent among Muslims” particularly resonated with us, especially the word ‘among’ which carries profound missiological importance. We are not “sent against” or merely “sent to,” but truly “sent among” Muslims. As the Church embodies the sign and sacrament of communion with God and the unity of the entire human family, she sends her children among Muslims to witness to God’s wonders in their lives.

The missionary disciples are tasked with making explicit the kingdom values that many of our Muslim brothers and sisters already practice. The document, Gaudium et Spes, encourages missionary disciples to engage in open dialogue with everyone: Catholics, other Christians, adherents of different religions, and even those who may oppose or challenge the Church. This dialogue should be all- encompassing and thorough, with the ultimate aim of fostering “genuine peace in the world.” (Gaudium et Spes 92).

The lives of these missionary disciples should be imbued with ‘joy’ and ‘hope’. They should not appear as if they’ve just returned from a funeral (EG. 10) or lead lives that resemble a perpetual Lent without the joy of Easter (EG. 6). Pope Francis encourages us to embark on a new phase of evangelization characterized by joy (EG. 1) As individuals centred on Christ, our experience of salvation should inspire us to cultivate a deeper love for both Christ and humanity, driven by hope. We felt our presence among Muslims must reflect the Gospel joy and hope.

Our discussions centred on what unites us: our scholarship in Christian-Muslim Relations and our commitment to living as missionary disciples.

The intersection of religion and political power: Our conversation shifted toward the intersection of religion and political power. As educators, we often encounter students who assert that for Islamic societies to evolve into genuinely democratic entities, traditional Islamic doctrines must be reformed and infused with Christian ideals. Those familiar with the history of Christian-Muslim relations will recognize that, prior to Vatican II, such notions were quite common, with the Dutch Jesuit J. J. Houben being a notable proponent of this perspective.

While it’s true that early Christians refrained from establishing a religio-political system, believing instead that the Church should guide lives through Gospel principles, Muhammad, the Prophet of Islam, laid the foundation for a religio-political community. Consequently, Christians (many Muslims too) view Islam as a comprehensive legal framework, where Sharia—rooted in the divinely prescribed teachings of the Qur’an and the hadith (traditions of the Prophet Muhammad)—hold significant sway. As scholars of Islamic Studies understand, Sharia grew through a consensus within the umma (the community of the Prophet Muhammad), driven by the intellectual contributions of legal scholars. This framework has considerable political implications, particularly in challenging Muslim rulers who do not adhere to it. Over time, sharia became more rigid and less adaptable, often failing to respond to the evolving needs of society.

Students often overlook the fact that Sharia serves as a guideline to adapt Islamic behavior in various contexts. It is inherently flexible and can be tailored to fit local doctrines. However, even among Muslim scholars, there exists a certain tension in the understanding of Sharia.

Pope Francis and Muslims: Our conversation also touched on Pope Francis and his approach toward Muslims. The key takeaway is that the Pope acknowledges the significant differences between Christianity and Islam. Yet, he encourages Christians to set aside elements that may lead to conflict and instead focus on collaborative efforts for the common good. It is important to understand that he does care about these differences; he recognizes that ignoring the doctrinal distinctions could lead to a dilution of faith.

Pope Francis embodies a dual awareness in his mission. On one hand, he reaches out to Muslims, seeing them as brothers and sisters rather than adversaries. On the other hand, he remains open to learning from them and sharing experiences that foster mutual growth. His efforts aim to present the essence of Islam to Christians while also sharing the love of Christ with Muslims. Through these actions, he highlights the notion that we are equals, and no faith is superior to another.

Talking of Pope Francis filled us with joy as he illuminates the path toward solidarity and reconciliation. He emphasizes that both Christians and Muslims have much to learn from our conflict-ridden past and the importance of transforming rivalry into collaboration. By reminding believers that we originate from God and ultimately return to Him, he encourages us to discover a new way to coexist in harmony, building peaceful societies rooted in justice. In a world often clouded by bitterness and animosity, Pope Francis urges both communities to step into each other’s shoes, empathize with each other’s pain and suffering, and ultimately find a way to reconciliation. I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to professors Francesco Zannini, Fr. Wasim Salman, and Gaetano Sabetta for generously sharing their invaluable  time and insights in our recent discussions. These conversations not only enriched our understanding but also fostered a deeper sense of connection among us. Through our dialogues, we not only discussed important concepts but also prayed for one another and strengthened our support for each other in our shared mission of outreach and engagement with diverse communities. It is in these moments of genuine sharing that we find the true essence of collaboration in our mission to all people.

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By Sheise Thomas, SJ

Background: Witnessing the increasing mental health struggles among teenagers and youngadults, I felt compelled to create a safe and nurturing space for them to heal and rediscover themselves. As a Jesuit priest and an artist, I believed in the power of art and storytelling to connect with young minds on a deeper level. This led to the development of ‘TOAST’  – Transform Oneself through Art, Stories, and Theatre – a unique program designed to address the emotional and social needs of teenagers and youth.

My journey began with a deep understanding of the challenges faced by today’s teenagers and youth. I observed that many were burdened by academic pressure, broken families, and the pervasive influence of social media. These factors, coupled with the isolation and uncertainty brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, had led to increased rates of depression, anxiety, and self-harm among young people.

Motivated by a desire to make a difference, I began interacting with students through my roles as editor of Snehasena and Tik Tik Life. These interactions revealed a profound sense of loneliness and disconnection among many youth, who often felt unheard and unsupported.

The turning point came during an interactive session with a group of high school students. At the end of the session, three boys approached me with tears in their eyes, expressing their gratitude for the safe space and feeling of love they had experienced. They shared that they rarely felt heard or understood at home, and the session had provided a much-needed sense of belonging. This deeply moving encounter solidified my resolve to create a dedicated program for teenagers and youth.

The TOAST Approach: A Holistic Framework: TOAST is a multi-faceted program that utilizes the power of art, storytelling, movement and experiential learning to foster personal growth and emotional well- being.

Art as Expression: The program incorporates various art forms, including drama, music, visual arts, rhythm, and movement, as powerful tools for emotional expression and self-discovery. Through creative activities like painting, rhythm work, breathwork, and movement, participants are encouraged to explore their emotions, identify their strengths, and develop a deeper understanding of themselves.

As a Jesuit priest and an artist, I believed in the power of art and storytelling to connect with young minds on a deeper level.

Storytelling as Connection: Narratives, both personal and shared, play a crucial role in connecting with participants on a deeper level, fostering empathy, and providing insights into human experiences. Storytelling sessions, ranging from personal anecdotes to mythological tales, create a space for reflection, introspection, and shared experiences. Through these narratives, participants learn about different perspectives, develop empathy for others, and gain a deeper understanding of the human condition.

Mindfulness and Movement: Mindfulness practices, breathwork, and movement exercises are integrated to cultivate inner peace, reduce stress, and improve emotional regulation. These practices help participants become more aware of their bodies and minds, develop greater self-control, and cultivate a sense of calm amidst life’s challenges.

Key Modalities:

Safe and Nurturing Space: TOAST emphasizes a non-judgmental, non-competitive and supportive environment where participants feel comfortable expressing themselves openly and honestly. The program fosters a sense of community and belonging, encouraging participants to connect with one another and build meaningful relationships.

Focus on Human Connection: The program fosters meaningful connections among peers, encouraging collaboration, empathy, and a sense of belonging. Through group activities and shared experiences, participants learn to appreciate the value of human connection and develop stronger social bonds.

These interactions revealed a profound sense of loneliness and disconnection among many youth, who often felt unheard and unsupported.

Emphasis on Self-Discovery: TOAST helps participants explore their emotions, identify their strengths, and develop a deeper understanding of themselves. Through creative expression and self-reflection, participants gain valuable insights into their own personalities, values, and aspirations.

The ‘Story Telling Bicycle’ Project: A Journey of Hope: Recognizing the need to address specific social issues, we expanded TOAST to include the ‘Story Telling Bicycle’ project – an innovative anti-drug campaign. This initiative involves traveling to schools on bicycle, conducting interactive storytelling and engaging theatre sessions that creatively convey the dangers of drug abuse and promote healthy lifestyle choices.

The ‘Story Telling Bicycle’ project adds a unique and engaging dimension to the TOAST program. By traveling to schools on bicycle, we not only reach out to a wider audience but also symbolize the journey towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.

The use of bicycle as a mode of transportation reinforces the message of healthy living and encourages participants to embrace active and sustainable lifestyles. The interactive storytelling sessions incorporate a variety of creative techniques, including storytelling, drama, and music, to captivate the attention of young audiences. Through engaging narratives, we explore the consequences of drug abuse, promote the importance of making healthy choices, and empower young people to lead fulfilling lives free from addiction.

Transformation: Through ‘TOAST’ workshops and the ‘Story Telling Bicycle’ project, we have witnessed a profound impact on the lives of young people.

Increased Self-Awareness: Participants have reported increased self-awareness, a deeper understanding of their emotions, and improved self-esteem.

Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Many participants have experienced a significant reduction in stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms.

Improved Social Connections: The workshops have fostered meaningful connections among peers, creating a supportive and inclusive community.

Empowerment and Hope: TOAST has given young people a sense of hope and empowerment, equipping them with the tools and resilience to navigate life’s challenges.

A Beacon of Hope: TOAST stands as a testament to the power of compassionate engagement and creative approaches in addressing the mental health and emotional well-being of youth. By providing a safe and nurturing space for self-discovery and human connection, and by creatively addressing critical social issues like drug abuse through the ‘Story Telling Bicycle’ project, this innovative program offers a beacon of hope for young people struggling to find their way in a complex and often overwhelming world. I believe that through continued efforts and by reaching out to more young people, we can create a lasting positive impact on their lives and empower them to build a brighter future.

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By Cedric Prakash, SJ

In the Global Hunger Index for the year 2024, released on 15 October 2024, India ranks 105 out of 127 countries! With a score of 27.3, India has a level of hunger that is serious. On that day, a World Bank report stated that “almost 129 million Indians are living in extreme poverty in 2024 – on less than $2.15 (about Rs 181) a day.” These are hard facts presented by independent agencies, which the Government of India is unable to find fault with.

These statistics should not surprise anyone: whilst India boasts of producing some of the richest persons in the world, millions of Indians still do not have access to roti, kapda, makhan (food, clothing, and shelter), clean drinking water and the other basic amenities of life. Their journey is for survival, as they are struggling to eke out a living! Understanding the struggle the poor go through, the Church has instituted ‘World Day of the Poor.’

In his message issued for the World Day of the Poor last year, Pope Francis based his message on the theme, ‘The prayer of the poor rises up to God’ (cf. Sir 21:5). He said, “The World Day of the Poor is a pastoral opportunity that challenges every believer to listen to the prayer of the poor, becoming aware of their presence and needs. It is an opportune occasion to implement initiatives that concretely help the poor and to recognize and support the many volunteers who dedicate themselves passionately to those most in need. We must thank the Lord for the people who make themselves available to listen to and support the poorest among us”.

What must be uppermost in the hearts and minds of every disciple of Jesus is the question: Do I hear the cry of the poor? Do I respond?’ The cry, the prayer of the poor, has a message for all of us. Just as God listens to their prayer, God also wants us to respond proactively and help alleviate their poverty.

A World Bank report stated that “almost 129 million Indians are living in extreme poverty in 2024 – on less than $2.15 (about Rs 181) a day.”

The first of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) is to ‘end poverty in all its forms everywhere’ – something that has to be achieved by 2030! That is indeed a tall order – but if there is the political will to do so, that goal, can certainly be realized. The UN says, “In 2020, the number of people living in extreme poverty (living on less than USD 2.15 a day) rose to 724 million. Those living in extreme poverty struggle to fulfil the most basic needs (health, education, access to water and sanitation)… Eradicating poverty in all its forms remains one of the greatest challenges facing humanity. While the number of people living in extreme poverty dropped by more than half between 1990 and 2015 – from 1.9 billion to 731 million – too many are still struggling for the most basic human needs”.

In January 2023, OXFAM released its report titled, ‘Survival of the Richest’ at the World Economic Forum in Davos, The Report highlighted the large disparity in wealth distribution in India, which makes the country one of the most unequal countries in the world, grappling with soaring levels of both income and wealth inequality. The Report says that more than 40% of the wealth created in the country from 2012 to 2021 had gone to just 1% of the population, and the richest 10 percent of the Indian population lay claim to an astonishing 77 percent of the nation’s wealth. Only 3% of the country’s wealth had trickled down to the bottom 50%. In 2022, the wealth of India’s richest man, Gautam Adani, increased by 46%, while the combined wealth of India’s 100 richest had touched $660 billion.

These scandalous statistics must make all Indians with a conscience hang their heads down in shame.

India’s youth continue to grapple with soaring unemployment rates, with nearly 83 percent of the jobless population belonging to this demographic, as per the ‘India Employment Report  – 2024’ jointly published by the International Labour Organisation (ILO) and the Institute of Human Development (IHD). The report, which was released on 27 March 2024, underscores a concerning trend where the proportion of educated young people, possessing at least a secondary education, among the total unemployed youth has nearly doubled from 35.2 percent in 2000 to 65.7 percent in 2022.

The plight of tribals, the indigenous people called ‘Adivasis’, the Dalits, and the OBCs, and migrant workers leave much to be desired. Untouchability still prevails in many rural areas. Manual scavenging still exists.

What must be uppermost in the hearts and minds of every disciple of Jesus is the question: ‘Do I hear the cry of the poor? Do I respond?’

Christian ‘charity’ is no longer synonymous with the traditional ‘doling out’. It is easy to throw a pittance to the poor, to give them our left-over food or old clothes. Today, we are mandated to address the systemic, structural issues of poverty, to empower the poor through a right- based approach. The Synodal Report of the first phase (October 2023) has a section dedicated to ‘People in Poverty, Protagonists of the Church’s Journey’ (I.4); The Church’s commitment must address the causes of poverty and exclusion. This includes actions to protect the rights of those who are excluded, and this may require public denunciation of injustices, whether perpetrated by societal structures or by individuals, corporations or governments. What is essential is hearing the voice of those in poverty, listening to their demands and points of view.

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By Midhun J. Francis, SJ

Does Islam accept pluralism of religion? It certainly does. The life of Prophet Muhammad, the Constitution of Medina, and the Qur’an show Islam’s acceptance of and respect for all religious communities.

The Prophet’s Example: The life of Prophet Muhammad serves as a practical model for pluralism in Islam. The Prophet founded a multi-faith society at Medina as a major historical example of religious plurality. His early interactions included encounters with a Christian monk named Bahira, who inspired Muhammad to listen to the word of God during a trade journey to Syria, highlighting his openness to other faiths even before his prophethood. Waraqah ibn Nawfal is another Nestorian monk who advised Muhammad to answer the call of God.

Constitution of Medina: The Prophet drafted the Constitution of Medina, a groundbreaking document that outlined the rights and responsibilities of all citizens, regardless of their faith. This Constitution assured protection under Islamic rule and acknowledged the Jewish tribes as friends, granting them autonomy. It established mutual respect and cooperation principles, emphasizing that all parties would defend the city against external threats. This Constitution, therefore, described the rights and obligations of Muslims and non-Muslims, thereby fostering a cooperative society in which many groups may coexist peacefully.

The Prophet respectfully engaged with Christians and Jews. For instance, he allowed a Christian delegation from Najran to pray in his mosque, demonstrating tolerance and mutual respect.

Diversity in Qur’an:  The Qur’an acknowledges human diversity as a fundamental aspect of God’s creation, as it also affirms that all humans are created from a single soul but are endowed with differences in race, ethnicity, and beliefs. God has created human beings with different nations and tribes so that each one may acquire knowledge of the customs of one another. All people are the descendants of ‘Adam and Hawwa’ and share this honour equally. The only difference between them is in the religion. Therefore, this diversity is accepted and seen as part of God’s design.

“Free Will” to Choose a Religion: The Qur’an emphasizes that belief is a matter of personal choice, stating that compulsion in religion is not permissible. It says, “There is no compulsion in religion: true guidance has become distinct from error, so whoever rejects false gods and believes in God has grasped the firmest hand-hold, one that will never break. God is all hearing and all knowing” (Q 2:256). This verse concerns the Ansār of Medina, who tried to compel their sons to enter into Islam. (Jalal – Al-Jalalayn 2:256 ). Abbas says that “no one from among the people of the Book and the Magians should be coerced to believe in the divine Oneness of Allah after the Arabs’ embrace of Islam” (Abbas – Tanwîr al-Miqbâs min Tafsîr Ibn ‘Abbâs 2:256).

Kathir says, “Do not force anyone to become Muslim, for Islam is plain and clear, and its proofs and evidence are plain and clear. Therefore, there is no need to force anyone to embrace Islam” (Kathir – Ibn Al Kathir 2:256).

The Prophet respectfully engaged with Christians and Jews. For instance, he allowed a Christian delegation from Najran to pray in his mosque, demonstrating tolerance and mutual respect.

Religious Freedom and Justice: Several verses advocate peaceful coexistence and respect for other faiths, indicating that Muslims should engage with non-Muslims with kindness and justice. By recognizing the plurality of faith and communities, the Quran teaches us not to impose one’s faith on others; instead, it urges us to tolerate the differences. The affirmation that “there is no compulsion in religion” (Q 2:256) emphasizes the importance of freedom of religion in matters of faith.

Shafiq Ahmed Shiekh, an author from India, says that “Allah made different faiths and religions to test the believers to what extent they contribute positively to seek His pleasure. The Qur’an commands us to use the difference of faith to do good (khayr) and to compete with people of other faiths in doing good (khayr). Differences lead to conflicts, but the responsibility of the believers is to make use of this difference in establishing such a relationship with others in which they can compete in their positive contribution to the benefit of mankind.”

Islamic Teachings on Tolerance: Islamic teachings encourage followers to embrace pluralism to foster harmony. Ahl al-Kitab is a term that refers to the “People of the Book” (Jews and Christians), who are granted certain rights within Islamic societies. Historically, non-Muslims under Islamic rule often experienced better treatment than those under non-Islamic regimes. The Qur’an encourages cooperation in virtuous acts while discouraging collaboration in wrongdoing. It says He may test you in what He has given you. Strive, then, to excel each other in good deeds.

Contemporary Perspectives on Pluralism: Various Islamic thinkers have  affirmed that Islam respects religious pluralism.

Seyyed Hossein Nasr:  Seyyed Hossein Nasr is a prominent contemporary Islamic philosopher and scholar who has significantly contributed to the discourse on pluralism within Islam. His views emphasize the importance of recognizing and respecting religious diversity, arguing that pluralism is compatible with Islamic teachings and a necessary component of a harmonious society.

Central to Nasr’s understanding of pluralism is the concept of the perennial philosophy, which posits that all major religions share a common spiritual core despite their outward differences. Q 5:48 is his base of pluralism. In his interview with Bill Moyers in 1990, Nasr articulated his views on the coexistence of Islam with non-Muslim communities. He emphasized that while some Muslims may believe in an eschatological vision where all humanity eventually submits to God, this does not imply a mandate for conquest or forced conversion. Instead, he highlighted the importance of peaceful coexistence: “Yes, Islam can coexist with a non-Muslim world.” This statement reflects his belief that Islam’s theological framework supports pluralism and interfaith dialogue rather than exclusivity or hostility.

By recognizing the plurality of faith and communities, the Quran teaches us to tolerate the differences and emphasizes the importance of freedom of religion in matters of faith.

Muhammad Asad: Muhammad Asad was a prominent Islamic thinker, translator of the Qur’an, and advocate for interfaith dialogue. His unique background as a European convert to Islam provided him with a distinctive perspective on religious pluralism. Asad’s writings emphasize the importance of recognizing and respecting the diversity of faiths while maintaining a commitment to Islamic principles. He argues that the Qur’an acknowledges the existence of multiple religious communities and encourages Muslims to engage with them positively. In his translation of the Qur’an, Asad emphasizes verses affirming the validity of other faiths.

Maulana Wahiduddin Khan: Maulana Wahiduddin Khan (1925-2021) was a prominent Indian Islamic scholar. He was a peace activist and author who advocated a pluralistic understanding of Islam. His life and work emphasized the importance of interfaith dialogue, non-violence, and the peaceful coexistence of diverse religious communities. Wahiduddin Khan’s approach to pluralism is deeply rooted in the Qur’an and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad. He argued that Islam inherently supports the idea of pluralism through its foundational principles. One of his key arguments is based on the Qur’anic verse: “For you is your religion, and for me is my religion” (Qur’an 109:6). This verse encapsulates the essence of mutual respect for different faiths, suggesting that Islam acknowledges the legitimacy of other religions. Khan believed this acknowledgement is crucial for fostering peaceful coexistence in a diverse society.

Conclusion: In the context of interfaith relationships, the Qur’anic acknowledgement of diversity should be publicized and re-affirmed. The model offered by the Prophet Muhammad calls for a harmonious cohabitation of people of different religions. This is theologically premised on an Islam upholding free will, tolerance, and mutual respect in acknowledging a divine purpose for human differences. It stands in great harmony with the greater Abrahamic traditions and other religious philosophies, and calls for shared efforts in ethical collaboration for the common good. Islamic principles support inter-religious dialogue and efforts to transcend hatred and division and call on people to work together to build societies that uphold justice, compassion, and a common pursuit of truth. This shared vision reinforces the idea that diversity, far from being a barrier, is a divine call. It is a call to recognize our interconnectedness and to strive toward universal fraternity.

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(Edited excerpts from a paper presented at a conference jointly organized by the Vatican’s Dicastery of Inter-religious Dialogue and Shivagiri Madom, Varkala, Kerala, India.)

By Jose Parappully, SDB

“We must allow ourselves the exhilaration, genuinely felt and shown, and not just spoken about, which comes from loving and being loved. Only in this way, and through this experience can we come closer to an understanding of a God who is defined as love.” – Francis Moloney

A long time ago, the philosopher Epicurus had presented friendship as one of the crucial contributors to health and happiness. Today, psychological research and theory not only support Epicurus’ observation, but go beyond to attest that healthy relationships are the greatest contributors to health and happiness.

This idea got papal support when Pope Benedict of happy memory declared during a Conference at the Vatican on Information Technology that “It is through our friendships that we grow and develop as humans. For this reason, true friendship has always been seen as one of the greatest good any human person can experience” (Benedict XVI, 2009, para 7).

Ignace Lepp, depth psychologist and priest, had this to say about the value for friendship: “My long practice as a depth psychologist has enabled me to verify the important role friendship can play in promoting authentic existence and to observe the distress of those who are deprived of it. I am convinced that friendship is one of the most fundamental of existential values, that it can make a man’s [woman’s] life infinitely more beautiful and fruitful.… Its imperfections and limitations notwithstanding, friendship represents one of the most precious values of the human condition.” (in Wanner, 1987, pp. 916, 919)

Friendships not only enhance our psychological growth, but also contribute significantly to growing in spiritual maturity. Authentic friendships deepen and expand not only our affective lives, but also our love relationship with God. As Wanner has observed, “the development of friendship is a development of the spiritual life. When friendship is true, it can be one of the great ways in which God comes” (1987, p. 923).

According to Biblical scholar Francis Moloney (1986) an experience of deep human love is necessary to know who God is: “We must allow ourselves the exhilaration, genuinely felt and shown, and not just spoken about, which comes from loving and being loved. Only in this way, and through this experience can we come closer to an understanding of a God who is defined as “love.” (p. 115)

We express empathy through efforts to understand the other and respond to the other in caring and sensitive ways. These actions gradually enhance and deepen our personality and our spirituality.

Renowned theologian Karl Rahner (1989) described the role of love and friendship in psychological and spiritual growth thus: “In love the gates of my soul spring open, allowing me to breathe a new air of freedom and forget my own petty self. In love my whole being streams forth out of the rigid confines of my own poverty and emptiness. (p. 13)

Celibate Friendship:

For those committed to a celibate way of life, friendship is the “sacrament of celibate love” (Sandra Schneiders). Genuine human affection experienced in friendship enriches their celibate lives. It deepens their humanity, and enriches all their relationships – with God, with one another. By awakening and enhancing qualities basic to ministry – sensitivity, warmth, gentleness, compassion – friendship enriches their ministry.

Friendship in Marriage:

Marriages are enriched when the partners consider each other as their best friend, and more so, when they have one or two other very close friends. Studies have found that couples who have such friends experience higher levels of life satisfaction and self-esteem and lower levels of depression than spouses who do not have close friends. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote “It is not the absence of love but the absence of friendship that makes marriages unhappy.” 

Man-Woman Friendships:

The findings of psychology today go beyond stating the need for human love and friendship in every adult’s life. Research advocates heterosexual friendships especially among those committed to the celibate way of life. The close union of two persons in heterosexual friendship has extraordinary effects on the individual life of each partner. It has been found to result in a surprising store of creative energy and general enrichment. It is said that a vowed celibate is more likely to remain so if he or she has a number of friends of the opposite sex.

The Genesis story of creation of man and woman implies there is something about the psychology of a man that calls out for a feminine influence in his life. Without that feminine influence man’s masculinity cannot fully develop. It is the same for the woman. Her femininity blossoms through close relations with men. Friendship is the pathway for such personality enhancement and integration for celibate men and women.

Heterosexual friendship among celibates is desirable at least on two grounds: 1. It allows celibate men and women to develop many dimensions of their human potential, some of which normally develop only through relationship with persons of the opposite sex. 2. As a consequence, these enriched persons are more capable of loving God and people with genuine human love.

Celibates, enriched by heterosexual friendships, are more capable of loving God and people with genuine human love.

Fr Donald Cozzens who had been a major seminary rector for many years has this to say about the value of celibate friendship for priests and religious: “Authentic celibate living for most priests and religious is aided and sustained by and through authentic, intimate, non-sexual friendships with both men and women (2006, p. 70). He provides the reason for this: Priests gifted with authentic celibate relationships often discover a transformation of soul, a compassion and strength previously unknown to them. In spite of the suffering that inevitably touches all human love and friendship, priests blessed with celibate, loving intimacy give thanks for the wonder of it all. In the process, they believe they have grown as men of God, as men of the church. (2006, p. 74)

Requisites:

What are the ingredients that help to establish and support healthy friendships? A few of them are listed below:

1. Attention: Friendship begins by noticing and paying attention to someone. We want to know that person more, understand him or her and their situation and needs better. After knowing, we respond with empathy and sensitivity. In the process the two of us come to believe that we care for each other and can rely on the other for support.

2. Affection: As we come to know the other more deeply, we develop fondness for the other. We express affection, warmth. We seek one another’s company. We look at and relate with the other in ways that make both of us feel loved and cared for.

3. Appreciation: Paying attention and expressing affection, makes us become more aware of the other. We see the kind of person her or she is, their goodness, beauty, talents and giftedness, and express our appreciation for these. To appreciate one another, we need to know one another more deeply. For this, it is essential that we disclose our inner thoughts and feelings with the other – reveal our “intima”- the inner layers of our psyche and soul. We need to be willing to take the risks involved in such self-disclosure.

4. Acceptance: We accept our friend as he or she is, without putting any pressure on them to be the person we want them to be. We are able to accept our friends with their limitations and shortcomings, while appreciating the positives in them.

5. Allowing: As our friendship deepens, both of us will inevitably be affected by the other. Our personalities will change, our goals and values, our thinking and behaviour will change. Gradually a qualitatively real transformation in the core of our being will take place. We need to allow this to happen, without offering any conscious resistance to the other’s influence on us.

6. Action: We give expression to all the above in the way we relate to our friend. Thus, we show our care and concern by standing by the other, supporting the other. We show attention in the way we seek to be present to the other. We express our fondness through words and gestures. We express empathy through efforts to understand the other and respond to the other in caring and sensitive ways. These actions gradually enhance and deepen our personality and our spirituality.

My forthcoming book, Psychospiritual Dynamics at Midlife and Beyond (St. Paul Publications) has chapters on love, intimacy and friendship that elaborate the ideas briefly described in this article.

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References:

Benedict XVI, Pope. (2009, May 24). New technologies, new relationships: Promoting a culture of respect, dialogue and friendship. Message of the Holy Father Benedict XVI for the 43 rd World Communications Day [Electronic version]: Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana.

Cozzens. D. (2006). Freeing celibacy. Collegeville, MN: The Liturgical Press.

Moloney, F. (1986). A life of promise: Poverty, chastity, obedience. Bangalore: ATC.

Rahner, K. (1989). Prayers for a life time. Mumbai: St. Paul Publications. (Original work published 1984)

Wanner, R. (1987). Aelred of Rievaulx: ‘Twelfth century answers to twentieth century questions.’ Review for Religious, 46(6), 914-930.

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My dear friends,

Here is a new issue of INI, dated January – March 2025. We are happy to release it today – 14 February, a day the world observes as Valentine’s Day that celebrates love and friendship.

Can we survive without love and friendship? Are there still people who would think that as priests and religious all we need is God’s love and that we don’t really need loving friendships? I don’t think you can find today many who hold this view. If you know someone who does, you should ask them to read Fr Jose Parappully’s article in this issue of INI. A well-known Salesian psychologist and writer, Parappully quotes Francis J. Moloney, a fellow Salesian priest from Australia, and author, who says, “We must allow ourselves the exhilaration, genuinely felt and shown, and not just spoken about, which comes from loving and being loved. Only in this way, and through this experience can we come closer to an understanding of a God who is defined as love.”

Parappully says, “A long time ago, the philosopher Epicurus had presented friendship as one of the crucial contributors to health and happiness. Today, psychological research and theory not only support Epicurus’ observation, but go beyond to attest that healthy relationships are the greatest contributors to health and happiness.”

This issue carries also an article written by a prophet of our times, who keeps reminding us of things we would rather not hear. The veteran activist and writer, Cedric Prakash, SJ, reminds us of something that God keeps hearing but we don’t – the cry of the poor.

Ever since I read a newspaper clipping about an innovative apostolate initiated by a young Kerala Jesuit I have wanted to publicize it, so that all Jesuits of South Asia may be inspired. This has become possible in this issue. Read about TOAST that Sheise Thomas, SJ (KER) has come up with, in order to address some acute challenges that our youth face.

Victor Edwin and Midhun J. Francis are Jesuits “sent among” Muslims. While Edwin talks of the enlightening conversations he had with three other professors in Rome, Midhun affirms that Islam accepts religious pluralism and advocates interreligious dialogue. “Islamic principles support inter-religious dialogue and efforts to transcend hatred and division and call on people to work together to build societies that uphold justice, compassion, and a common pursuit of truth. This shared vision reinforces the idea that diversity, far from being a barrier, is a divine call. It is a call to recognize our interconnectedness and to strive toward universal fraternity.” So go ahead. There is so much here to inform, educate and enlighten you.

– M.A. Joe Antony, SJ